Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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