Christians are straight up FREAKS
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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