Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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