happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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