OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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