the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
