Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
