ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
