We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
