i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
