judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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