Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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