you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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