oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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