Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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