Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
