i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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