Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
