Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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