I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
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Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am one with the molecules
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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