I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
