get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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