I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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