You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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