Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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