I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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