Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
