Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Edward fifth and chaser hands
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
