that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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