I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
