he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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