There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When are your genitals available?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
