You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
