Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
