Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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