The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
zippers are such a cool invention
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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