Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
