where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
