This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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