I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
