Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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