I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
