There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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