I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
