Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
