remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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