bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
