No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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