I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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