carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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