He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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