i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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