i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
