she looked like the before picture.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
