i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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