she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
