so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
17 year olds will be the death of me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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