At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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