didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
