Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
