is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
